Compare
Relationship anarchy vs Hierarchical polyamory
They sit at opposite ends of the ranking question. Hierarchical polyamory formally ranks relationships (primary, secondary); relationship anarchy refuses to rank them at all, including the romantic-over-platonic ranking most people take for granted.
Hierarchical polyamory organises relationships into tiers — typically a primary partner with the most entanglement and priority, and secondary or other partners below. The hierarchy can be descriptive (acknowledging real life entanglement) or prescriptive (rules capping what other relationships may become). Relationship anarchy goes the other direction entirely: it rejects ranking relationships against each other, and rejects the assumption that romantic relationships automatically outrank friendships.
The philosophical gap is wide. Hierarchical polyamory accepts that some relationships legitimately come first and builds explicit structure around that. Relationship anarchy treats each connection as its own thing, negotiated on its own terms, without a template that says a romantic partner must matter more than a dearest friend. An RA's most important person might be someone they don't have sex with at all.
In practice many people land between the poles — non-hierarchical polyamory accepts descriptive entanglement without prescriptive ranking, for instance. But as a contrast, RA and hierarchical polyamory are the clearest illustration of polyamory's central internal debate: whether ranking relationships is honest realism or an avoidable imposition.
Point-by-point
| Relationship anarchy | Hierarchical polyamory | |
|---|---|---|
| Ranking relationships | Refused entirely. | Explicit (primary / secondary). |
| Romantic vs platonic | Not ranked; a friend can be a central person. | Romantic partners typically prioritised. |
| Rules & structure | Minimal; each bond negotiated on its own terms. | Structured; a primary relationship anchors the system. |
| Couple privilege | Actively resisted. | Often built in by design. |
| Best fit for | People who reject relationship templates wholesale. | People who want a clear, anchored primary partnership. |
Bottom line
Hierarchical polyamory ranks relationships on purpose; relationship anarchy refuses to rank them at all. They're the two ends of polyamory's biggest internal debate — and most people live somewhere between them.