Quiz

Which ENM structure fits you?

Six quick questions to help you find where you lean among the main forms of ethical non-monogamy. It's an orientation, not a verdict — most people are a blend, and the right structure is the one you and your partners actually want.

What this quiz can point you toward

  • PolyamoryMultiple loving romantic relationships, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Many shapes, one premise: depth across more than one connection.
  • Open relationshipA committed primary partnership with explicit, negotiated permission for outside sexual — and sometimes romantic — connections.
  • Relationship anarchyA philosophy of relationships that rejects ranked hierarchies, refuses inherited escalator scripts, and treats every relationship — romantic or platonic — as worth designing on its own terms.
  • Solo polyamoryPolyamory in which the centre is an autonomous adult life — not a primary partnership — and relationships are woven into that life on their own terms.
  • LifeStyleA consent-based social and sexual community of couples and singles who share recreational intimate connections — typically without the romantic-partnership dimension that defines polyamory.
  • MonogamishA largely-monogamous relationship with explicit, agreed, typically narrow exceptions to strict exclusivity.
  • Hierarchical polyamoryA polyamory structure that explicitly ranks relationships — a designated primary partner with one or more secondary partners — and uses that ranking to inform time, attention, and decision-making.
  • Kitchen-table polyamoryPolyamory where the polycule — partners and metamours — can comfortably hang out together. The kitchen table is the image; the practice is integrated network life.
1. What draws you to non-monogamy most?
2. Where are you starting from?
3. How do you feel about ranking relationships?
4. Outside connections — romantic, sexual, or both?
5. How close would you want to be with your partners' other partners?
6. Your ideal living arrangement?