Consensual non-monogamy (CNM)

Also: CNM, consensual nonmonogamy, ethical non-monogamy, ENM

The umbrella term for any relationship structure in which all partners knowingly agree to romantic or sexual connections with more than one person. Used interchangeably with ethical non-monogamy.

1 min read · Reviewed 2026-05-24

Consensual non-monogamy is the academic and increasingly mainstream umbrella term covering every honest, agreed-upon form of non-monogamy: polyamory, open relationships, swinging and the LifeStyle, relationship anarchy, solo polyamory, monogamish arrangements, and more. The single defining feature is informed consent — everyone involved knows the relationship is non-monogamous and has agreed to it. That consent is exactly what separates CNM from cheating.

CNM and ethical non-monogamy (ENM) are used interchangeably by most people. Some prefer CNM on the grounds that consent is the concrete, checkable standard while ethical is a value judgment; others prefer ENM because it foregrounds that the consent has to be genuine and ongoing rather than coerced or extracted once. In practice the two terms point at the same territory, and researchers tend to favour CNM.

As an umbrella, CNM says nothing about a relationship's shape — whether it centres romance or recreation, one core pair or many equal partners. It only says the arrangement is open and agreed. The specific configurations underneath it are where the meaningful distinctions live.

Where this term fits in the wider picture

Ethical non-monogamy is a network of overlapping practices, identities, and structures — and Consensual non-monogamy (CNM) connects to several of them. The neighbouring terms below show how this one sits alongside the rest of the vocabulary practitioners actually use; the guide at the end is the longer-form treatment of the same territory.

Closely-related vocabulary

Ethical non-monogamy
An umbrella term for relationship structures in which everyone involved knows about, and consents to, the participants having more than one romantic or sexual connection.
Polyamory
The practice of, or willingness to engage in, multiple loving romantic relationships, with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
Open relationship
A committed primary relationship in which the partners have agreed that outside sexual, and sometimes romantic, connections are allowed within negotiated terms.
Swinging
Recreational sexual activity between committed couples and vetted singles, organised around shared experiences rather than the multiple loving partnerships that define polyamory. The community's own current term is the LifeStyle.
Relationship anarchy
An approach to relationships that rejects ranked hierarchies, prescriptive escalator scripts, and the assumption that romantic relationships should be valued above platonic ones.

Continue reading

The longer treatment of this territory is in the guide What is ethical non-monogamy? A clear primer for adults thinking it through — An honest, plain-language introduction to ethical non-monogamy — what it is, what it isn't, the configurations it covers, and the questions it asks of you.

New to ethical non-monogamy? Start with the glossary for vocabulary, the structures index for the named relationship configurations practitioners actually use, and the guides for longer-form treatment of the common questions.

Sources & further reading