The Ethical Slut

The Ethical Slut, first published in 1997 by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton, is widely treated as the foundational popular text of modern ethical non-monogamy. The third edition (2017) is the current canonical version. The book reclaims slut from its pejorative connotations and uses it as a self-description for someone who openly enjoys sex and is honest about it — with the ethical part doing the work of distinguishing the practice from infidelity.

The book covers the full landscape of non-monogamous practice: jealousy, agreements, fluid bonding, communication patterns, the social and emotional skills the practice requires, the failure modes, and the joy that the authors argue is possible when the structure is done well. It is sex-positive in framing, frank in language, and influential enough that much of the contemporary ENM vocabulary descends from it.

What the book does not do: it is not specifically a polyamory manual (it is broader than polyamory), it is not academic (it is written for practitioners), and it does not emphasise attachment-theory framings (which became more central after Jessica Fern's Polysecure). For couples thinking about opening up, the recommendation in most contemporary lists is to read both — The Ethical Slut for the broader landscape and Polysecure for the specifically-attachment-focused work.

The book is sometimes critiqued for under-emphasising the work involved, for being more permissive than current community wisdom about partner-introduction pacing with children, and for some specific framings that subsequent practice has refined. The third edition addresses several of these. It remains, despite the critiques, the most-cited starting point in the literature.