California
Ethical non-monogamy in California.
ENM communities, events, and affirming professionals across California. Pick a city to see local detail.
About ENM in California
California has one of the deepest and longest-running ethical non-monogamy communities in the United States, with continuous lineage back to the 1960s and 1970s counterculture, the explicit-polyamory writing of the 1990s, and the contemporary kink-overlap and queer-poly scenes of the 2010s and 2020s. The Bay Area in particular is often described as the birthplace of modern polyamory as a named identity, and Los Angeles has paralleled it with a larger, more visible scene tied to entertainment, wellness, and intentional-community spaces.
What this means practically: nearly every reasonably-sized California city has at least one recurring polyamory or ENM discussion group (often called a munch), the affirming-therapist density is among the highest in the country, and the legal-and-cultural environment is comparatively unbothered by visible non-monogamy. There is also a long-established overlap with kink and BDSM communities, particularly in the Bay Area, that some practitioners value and others want to stay separate from — both are easy to find.
California's queer-ENM and polyam-of-colour scenes are unusually well-developed compared with most US states, with multiple recurring groups specifically for those communities in both LA and the Bay. Outside the major metros — the Central Valley, the North Coast, the Sierra towns — the scene is thinner but still present, often anchored on a single long-running munch and online groups.
Pick a city below for the local detail we've mapped, or see the finding-community guideif you're still working out where to start.
Sub-regions and metros worth knowing
- Greater Los Angeles (LA, OC, Inland Empire, Long Beach)
- Bay Area (SF, Oakland, Berkeley, the Peninsula, the South Bay)
- San Diego and North County
- Sacramento and the Central Valley
- Central Coast (Santa Cruz, Monterey, San Luis Obispo)
Not every sub-region has a city page yet — we're building them in order of community size and reader interest. The regions above all have at least one recurring local group or annual gathering worth knowing about.
Local flavour
- No statewide statutory recognition of multi-partner partnerships, but California's family-law culture is comparatively used to non-traditional households, and same-sex/multi-partner parenting arrangements are litigated regularly.
- Strong queer-ENM presence in both LA and the Bay; the largest dedicated queer-ENM gatherings on the West Coast tend to happen here.
- Heavy overlap with the kink and BDSM communities in the Bay; this is a feature for some practitioners and a thing to navigate for others.
Gatherings reachable from California
- Beyond the Love (Los Angeles)
- Catalyst Con (when active)
- Multiple Bay Area regional gatherings
See all upcoming ENM events for dates and venues.